When you walk into a room; before anyone knows your name, or “what you do”, or where you’re from, they see dat ass, I mean, your outfit. Personal style tells a story about your identity, and the things with which you choose to adorn yourself are tiny fragments that come together to paint the picture of you. They can amplify confidence or insecurity, can tell others what music you enjoy, what your favorite sports team is, and can even convey your state of mind or help you mold it.
Today, we’re joined by the fierce as fuck Marylou Cangas; an artist, seamstress, soap scent creator, and fashionable force of nature. From the natural grey hair she proudly rocks as a tribute to her sister, to the DIY glitter bottom soles of her heels, Marylou owns her double-x fly with confidence and knows how to harness the power of the thread to fearlessly face the world and exude light even in the darkest of times.
Fashion as Armor
Clothing is a transformative force that not only affects how we are perceived in the world, but how we perceive ourselves. How do you feel when you slide into your favorite outfit, or after a fresh haircut? Personal style can boost self-esteem by priming us into a positive mindset and can even amount to self-care. During difficult times appearance is often the first indicator that something is wrong because looking after ourselves is no longer a priority, but this is exactly when practicing self-care is most important.
Marylou is a chameleon, who can go from casual to glam and stay true to herself no matter what form she takes, but in recent months the practice of dolling up has been much more difficult than it once was. When Marylou’s long time best friend Moony passed away unexpectedly in her sleep at the age of 30, Marylou’s life was turned on its head. Grappling with untimely death often leaves those left to mourn gobsmacked by how fleeting time is. For the talented Marylou, who bounced ideas and exchanged mutual creative energies with her artistic friend, it was a realization that the time to create was now. Amidst grief however, this is easier said than done. How do you live, when a sister’s death has left an emptiness in your heart?
Living with a depression that drained her energy, Marylou found herself with little enthusiasm to do the things she once found pleasure in. The magic of la hermandad however spans beyond the grave, and one day, at her lowest of lows during a period where procrastination and doubt overtook her and she could hardly get out of bed, Marylou felt a swift kick in the ass from beyond, smelled a whiff of her late friend’s scent, and knew in that moment that her friend was urging her to go on.
So Marylou started to participate in living again, she attended events in her late friend’s honor, continued cosplay traditions they shared, and is pushing herself to be more bold and say yes to new opportunities. With the crystal necklaces Moony wore daily in her possession, and the determination to push forward and get shit done, Marylou is now working toward bringing a dream to fruition; a line of scented soaps inspired by she and Moony’s many fandoms. Meant to evoke the essence of each character it pays homage to, Miss Freya’s Apothecary is set to be an aromatic corner of the internet where Marylou aka Freya, combines fragrant notes in creative molds and packaging to tell a story beyond each bar of soap.
Marylou is a sensitive, fiery, and deeply authentic spirit who on this day, reminded us that fashion is armor. By stepping out of her comfort zone, and absolutely crushing it, Marylou inspires us to persevere. The act of shimmying into a leopard print pencil skirt and red pumps, beating her face to the gawds, and channeling all of the femme bruja energy in the motherfucking universe while listening to drag music on the 5th floor of a Miami parking garage (which serendipitously happens to be her lucky number), was Marylou taking control of her life and seizing the day. The universe conspires for us, it sends us signs and messages if only we are willing to listen. Marylou tries, everyday, to live her best life in spite of her loss, and shows us the magic we can create despite our pain.
Self-care is important. Feeling good in your own skin and being the best version of yourself will change your life. Fashion is not only armor, but it can be camouflage. It can be a step toward the way we want to feel, when we’d rather not feel at all. When working through loss or living with depression, the act of putting yourself together and facing the world is a victory. It is a sign to the universe that you care, that although you may hurt, you have not given up. This won’t always be possible either, and that’s okay too. On some days we will not find the impetus to put on a face of make-up and serve fucking lewks, which is all the more reason to celebrate the days when we do.
Do not discount the ability of clothing to be a powerful tool to reach your dreams. Use it as armor when necessary, use it to stand out when you are brave, use it to gas yourself up and honor the people and things you love. Style is a form of expression and clothing, your most powerful tool. Until next time, put on your best ‘fit, fucking slay it, and keep your double-x fly.
Thank you so much for the great article, it was fluent and to the point. Cheers.